Family Reunions

Have you ever gone to a family reunion? Those great family gatherings! I hear about them with other families, but my family never organized such an event. Who would come? All my relatives are very distant. Even so, I did go to a cousin’s family reunion once out in California. They scheduled these events regularly. However, this was the only one I ever attended. It was a stretch to say it was a family reunion for me since it was really the family of a distant cousin on my mother’s side of the family.  I felt a bit out of place. Except for my mother and sister and Mom’s cousin and her children, I knew no one. I did the usual thing, spoke with people, ate some of the food. I tried to be attentive as people told me their personal stories, with which I had little connection, being but a distant relative and a monk. Everyone was pleasant but in truth I only went because Mom wanted me to go.
A few years later, while I was in California on a trip for the monastery, the funeral for that cousin was held and so I attended.  This lady was married to my Mother’s cousin, who was really like Mom’s brother. He had passed away several years earlier. When I was a kid, our families would get together in San Clemente. We would go to the beach, visit other relatives, have cookouts, the usual stuff. As the funeral progressed, a flood of memories began to sweep over me. This family that I had basically lost touch with over the years, was now reclaiming my consciousness and the personality of the family Matriarch who had died, now began to grow in my awareness. As others spoke about her and how she had spent her life, I began to see a fuller picture of her than I had ever even thought about in the past. This was a woman who was selfless, generous, always helping others, always cheerful and encouraging to others and a person of faith. She and her family had lived in San Clemente for so long that everyone in town knew her. And as people spoke about her, I surprised myself and did something I never did before, I joined them and stood up and talked about my memory of her when I was just a boy growing up. She was no longer just a distant cousin, she became someone special. In death, I felt I knew her better than in life!
Today we celebrate the Dormition of the Theotokos. It is an occasion when the church gives us a family reunion of sorts to mark the occasion. Tradition has all the apostles returning from all over the world to be at her side at this time. One can easily imagine that many others besides the apostles were also there. And just like my experience of memories of my cousin flooding back into my consciousness, I would suspect the same was true for those gathered for that occasion. This special feast reminds us of who the Virgin Mary was and what that means for us today. This feast, which marks her passing from this life – her falling asleep, is a celebration of her life. It is a reminder of why she is important to all of us: as the “Mother or Birthgiver of God,” as the one who listened for the word of God and then accepted it and followed it, as the one who let herself be an instrument of God’s plan for salvation, as Jesus’ first disciple, as one who remained faithful to the Good News to the end.
Our funeral and requiem texts, as Fr. George reminded us on Saturday, bring us the visceral, tangible and emotionally painful realities of death. These texts also bring us consolation. They remind us of the loving embrace of God that we are entering in this journey. The Dormition of the Theotokos reinforces that message of salvation. Not only did her life bring salvation into the world but her death confirmed the path we are all to take. And what a mystery, that death is not about darkness, but Light!
Recently Brother John passed on to me a book he read about a little boy’s experience of heaven. We have all heard of near death experiences of people who live to tell about it.  This little boy’s story is so remarkable because he was only 4 years old when it happened. It is hard to imagine he made it up when what he saw was close to what is described in scripture.
His father, a young Wesleyan minister, tells the story of his son’s experience in the book Heaven is for Real. This experience happened as the boy was undergoing two surgeries for a burst appendix which went misdiagnosed for five days as the boy sank further and further toward death.  What he told his parents about his trip to heaven included meeting Jesus, seeing God, seeing pets and other animals, seeing the Virgin Mary and meeting his grandfather whom he had never known and a sister he did not even know he had because his parents had never told him that she had been still-born at 4 months into his mother’s pregnancy. The boy recounted the conversations that his parents were having in another room while he was on the operating table. He also said that in heaven, everything is light. After he regained his health, he wanted to go back to heaven.
So, the Dormition iconographic image of Jesus holding Mary’s soul was experienced by this little boy as he too was held by Jesus. His story shows us that Mary and others are part of that great family reunion in heaven.  Whatever we want to make of this little boy’s experience, one thing his story tells us: be not afraid of the journey, it is a beautiful destination and we will see others there we love. As his story came to mind this weekend it gave me pause to think about the number of times since Friday that we inadvertently said Sr Katrina’s name. That tells me that she knows of our struggles and our achievements and she is with us in them, as is that very special lady we remember today, the Theotokos.